It's been a while since I have posted on here. Most of my updates and posts have been via our support page for daddy, Miracles For Mike. And, because, in all honesty, I haven't known what to say in a blog. This changed this morning.
IS GOD GOOD?
This is a statement I have been struggling with over the past few months. I have claimed it's truth many times, I have told friends and family and agreed with them that YES, God is good! But through out all of this God keeps asking me, "am I good?" "Jennifer, do you really think I am good?"
"Do you want honesty, God? Do I really have to say it out loud, and all of my friends and family read this?" has been my prayer. He responds with a total truth of who He really is, "I still love you, despite your answer. I still accept you, despite your answer." "Ok, God. No. I don't see how you are good through this. I don't see how you truly are good when this disease you allowed daddy to have is causing him to vomit daily. When it's causing him to not be able to see and enjoy his family, grandkids, and the beauty of spring he loves so much. I'm sorry, God, I don't see your goodness in this."
BUT GOD, showed up in all of his grace and love this morning and I read Genesis 1.
Through out chapter 1 God is creating the world. After he creates each part it says "...and God saw it was good." It says this a total of 5 times in 31 verses. Then, God says, "let us create mankind in OUR image and in OUR likeness"After he creates mankind He says, "...it is VERY good." If we are created in God's image and likeness and He says it is "very good" how can God not be good?
And then, He reminded me of one of my favorite verses (ironic, right? we forget so quickly when we question God)
Romans 8:28- "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." He is good through it all. Through all the pain, vomiting, and tremors, he is good.
Today I am claiming it again and BELIEVING it! You are good, God. You are, good. I do see it through the mess. I see it more when you use Daddy to bring others back to you. I saw it last night when mom sent me a text saying how wide open Daddy's eyes were and that he was able to walk through the woods and yard and see the beauty of spring. I'm sorry for losing site of this. Forgive me, Lord.
Thank you for loving me despite my doubt.
